Comments (37)
Ok This has to stop! NOW!
Why didnt you run one on “Syria capitulates and Facilitates election of Lebanese President” That would have been more believable.
or
“Nasrallah apologises to Israel for Lobbing 4000 rockets during 2006 War”
or
“Walid Jumblatt DNA heridatary tests prove hes descended from the Apes”
or
” IMAD Mughniye, I am really alive and dancing”
or
” Sharon wakes up, lost 105 kilos and seeks to reclaim throne, stating ” I am a man of peace”
” God to Muslims” The Jews are right
or
God to Jews ” Give back the Land its not yours”
LOL.
this is a joke , right?
somebody tell me that is a joke… quickly please…
Reality isn’t that far off though, friends… i mean look at this gem from a gene study the lead author… “Pierre Zalloua” … from Lebanese American U, of course….
“Gene Study Charts arrival of Islam, Crusaders in Lebanon”… those lebs…desperate to stay genetically connected to the West..i guess.. but….
not that I think the crusaders didn’t leave their seed.. i am sure they did!…But the idea that they left it to lebanese christians and not Syrian christians or not just to anybody in general is ludicrous. I doubt the crusaders were really that picky about who they ‘dated’ after all..
the spanish in the americas never were…
ok,see for yourselves…
http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=1&categ_id=1&article_id=90427
Funny…worthy of a perfect day dreaming.
Hey Zenobia,
How is the Jetta? I am glad that you brought up the genetic studies. One year ago the issue captured my attention and I ended up reading couple of journal papers. It was quite interesting, a good number of articles did point out that the frequency of a certain “Arabian Yemeni gene” is lower among Lebanese Christians than their Muslim counterparts. The same studies point out that most other elements of the genetic elements in Christian Lebanese are identical with those in Muslim Lebanese, Syrians, Palestinians, and Jordanians
As you would expect, PHENOCIANists almost always ignore the latter and soley amplify the lack of Arabness. They totally ignore the fact that Arabs today are not only those of Yemen and the meaning of the word changed dramatically over the last 1400 years.
Similarly, National Geographic published a story about how genetics established a link between ancient Phoenician king and today’s Lebanese. This finding was used and abused by the Lebanese. They totally ignored another finding of the study pointing out that the same applies to the population of Syria! (We are no lesser of PHENOCIANs).
To be objective, It does seem that Lebanese Christians (and probably Syrian Christians) inter-married less with Arabians which is logical but this by no means makes them genetically distinct from other Levantines
WELL,
It would be less ridiculous if at least these differences were claimed to be about christians in general in the entire coastal area instead of just about lebanese.
there are after all.. Crusader castles all over coastal Syria which is larger than the Christian part of coastal Lebanon.
but also, other things simply don’t make sense.
One is that at the time of the Crusaders… where were the Maronites? I don’t think they were even living down on the Coast. they were deep in the mountains and inland.
Second, according to Kamal Salibi’s book about history of Lebanon, the Christians of Syria/Lebanon were not thrilled about the Crusaders arrival. According to him… at least the Orthodox and Greek Orthodox christians… and I believe he doesn’t distinguish the Maronites as having a different reaction.. were afraid of the Europeans invading and sided with the protection of their Arab brothers -though they were Muslims…. because they were more connected ethnically and felt that more important a bond than with the foreign invaders.. who though they were Christians – were Europeans and not arabs.
The levantines were arabized for more than five / six hundred years when the Crusaders were around.
so, i would like to know more about it… but the story of greater interbreeding with the Christians may or may not be true. But if it is true, that would have to include all the Christians up and down the coast…
but i don’t really buy it.
and i really don’t buy the Phoenecian genetic story cause that is even more remote from the placement of the Maronites…who were way the hell inland at that time. I think they were even still as far back in today’s syria at that time.
Actually i believe in complete and total interbreeding.
what did Enlightened (?) say a couple weeks ago… we are all bastards…lol.. i agreed with him on that.
QN and Enlightened,
Thanks for a great chuckle this morning… It also helps to keep all these “grave issues” we keep discussing on SC in the proper perspective…
Jacob Tafnis… indeed… 😀
Report: Syrian reservists called up for fear of Israeli strike
London-based al-Quds al-Arabi newspaper quotes sources in Damascus as saying Syria views Israeli media reports, IDF commanders’ statements as incitement, attempt to prepare public opinion for war. According to report, Syrian army on heightened alert, conducting wide-scale drills.
QN
It worked here!
I was preparing my two-page answer : )
oof! .. what a relief.
Enlightend … I can see you can easily function as editor of the best of British tabloids. You came up with 5 excellent headlines… enough for a whole week.
Does any one know where is Assef Chawkat?
There are rumors that he has to do with Imad Mughnieh assasination.
Check Al Siyasah online site. They always know.
He is probably working in his office.
But the one I have not seen lately is Saad Hariri.
Vacation?
وقائع من الحملة السعوديّة ـ المصريّة لإفشال القمّة
إبراهيم الأمين
http://www.al-akhbar.com/ar/node/69049
From the Lebanese Al Akhbar newspaper.
Wasn’t everybody on this site saying they are waiting for the results of the tribunal? So as the indictments are starting to come out why is everybody backtracking and making fun of a report giving a DNA analysis of the prime suspects.
Think for a minute. If the perpetrators of the crime were Syrian or Lebanese it does not automatically mean that the crime was perpetrated by either regime. Many Lebanese and Syrians are on Israeli payroll. How else do you explain the killing of Mughniyeh in one of the most guarded areas in Damascus? Syrian and quite possibly Lebanese individuals were involved in implementing the crime. Who sponsored them is the real question?
I understand that Arabs are highly sensitive to the concept of evolution. Enlightened you are correct when you mention that Walid Jumblatt is descended of the apes. We all are. This has been proven scientifically without a doubt. DNA is a marvelous discovery that has absolved many individuals who were wrongfully accused and put the real perpetrators of the crime behind bars. Let us wait and see what the tribunal brings.
I don’t think that Enlightened was blaming EVOLUTION for Jumblatt’s descent… 😀
Saroukh
The report was a joke, an April Fool’s day gag. If you click on the link to the “full report” you’ll see.
Also, the DNA analysis showed that the relevant chemical compound is: 7ummus bi-t7ini (hummus bi-tahini)
Just a little fun.
Alert,,
The Apes contested their relation to Jumblat as unwarranted underestimation of the Apes.
Alex,
I doubt he is working in his office. Maybe the same building as his office but 5 floors down. His wife has left already as we all know. But maybe you know better.
QN, is that your picture in the article? Would seem like about the right age for the wisdom and erudition you display 😉
Also just about the right jolliness for coming up with such a joke … and … the skewness of the tie explains the lack of perfection that made the article show up on 2 April instead of yesterday.
HP, yes it is, although it’s a very old picture! I don’t look so young anymore. I don’t know where Joshua dug it up.
Ahh, I used to love that tie, but I lost it in my sock drawer and it has never re-appeared.
My DNA is mostly hummus-ful with an egg on the side so it wasn’t me.
QN
“Jocob Tafnis”.. good one 🙂
Btw, check how many websites quoted Mr. Tafnis’ story:
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Jacob+Tafnis%22&hl=en&rls=GGLL,GGLL:2008-08,GGLL:en&filter=0
Who would like to bet that Al-Siyasah will publish the same story soon (of course after replacing Mr. Tafnis with “masdar mas’ool”)?
One has to admit though.. you do look quit dignified for a 17 years old!
You got me!
I even started checking BBC, CNN, The Guardian and such before I even finished reading the article.
The 7UMuS/BT71Ni compound made it look even more legitimate…..Although I wouln’t be surprised if scientists are able one to isolate the 7omos chromosome within the Syrian/Lebanese DNA.
Anyway, good one.
That is interesting how things can be wrong and still reach the media.
TAFNIS gave it away, ya Qifa Nabki.
But David TAJLIT said: “The DNA belongs to a female, with micro-amounts of sperm DNA, intermixed with the rest, that have been traced to mini-Hariri”
Idaf
Who would like to bet that Al-Siyasah will publish the same story soon
I got the story from al-Siyasah. Jacob Tafnis is their editor-in-chief.
😉
given that the author’s name is ‘tafnis,’ it strikes me as a kizbit-nisaan joke….
Wasn’t fooled for a second! Although before I clicked to read the “full story”. I had flashbacks of 9/11 when Bin Laden sent in mostly men from arab allied countries, to send a message. Could the same thing happen to Syria?
Good Morning all:
I see that QN had a field day with us all.
Alex: I thought those headlines would have generated more laughter, I had more in mind but they would have Offended some so I left them out, and not having posting rights QN beat me to the punch. What gave it away was the TAFNIS name, I fell out of my chair with laughter.
Zen: I really dont know why we keep revisiting this DNA story, it reminds me of the laughable debates I had with some Maronite friends at Uni who took this false story as gospel. I later told them that I studied Ancient History in my HSC, and came 3rd in all the state for the subject and told them the story was bogus, while showing them several texts. I think the Historian Hammond has the most plausible theory on the Phoenicians, they were Assyrian colonists if I remember correctly, that was over 20 years study though. Dont quote me on it though.
Najji: Cant fool you on April fools! Although I must state that all politicians have a little Ape in them!
OK, You got me. Even on April 3.
Enlightened said:
What gave it away was the TAFNIS name, I fell out of my chair with laughter.
I was hoping that the giveaway would have been “z-7UMuS/BT71Ni, a compound found at unusually high levels within the chemical ’signatures’ of inhabitants of the region.”
😉
The Israelis with American complicity and the usual fanatics of Lebanon who think they are French or Chosen assassinated Hariri and many others.
QN,
Actually I liked the z-7UMuS/BT71Ni more! I guess we’re all busted if that was the trace agent they IDed after all those millions spent.
Good one! You had me there until Alex started laughing.
Its comically tragic that so much energy, time money invested in finding the culprits that assassinated Mr. Hariri. Given the already popularized guilty statements as to who is responsible what would ensue if 1] the ones already judged guilty in the western media are “found guilty” or miraculously 2] the ones already judged guilty are determined not to be the guilty ones.
Will either 1] or 2] be considered enough of a worthwhile endeavour to investigate who murdered Salvadore Allende in Chile or who put Ariel Sharon in a coma?
This is not intended to make light of criminal acts. Still the number of human beings killed on a daily basis in Iraq do not seem to merit the assidiousness of determing who the real killers are. Men, women and children in Gaza suffer the same fate and no one seems to consider the convocation of an investigation to determine who the guilty parties are.
I just hope that all this talk about genes (Arab, Jew, Phoenician, Christian, Lebanese etc.) is not a renewed instance of national folkism and stays in the realm of tafnis.
Wonder where it all comes from (aryanism revisted?).
If DNA evidence is used and abused it might pave the way to the cloning in the 21rst century of Gobineau and Ernest Haeckel.
[…] affairs for his blog, even when they ran counter to his own politics or dabbled in pre-Qnion-esque satire. I have no doubt that much of Qifa Nabki’s early exposure during the build-up to the […]
“Major Hariri Investigation Breakthrough”
By Jacob Tafnis, Associated Press Writer
1 April, 2008 — 1 hour, 27 minutes ago
Fresh on the heels of its 10th Report, the UNIIIC has released an 11th Report which is likely to increase the pressure on the various players currently embroiled in the Lebanon-Syria standoff. Canadian head prosecutor Commissioner Daniel Bellemare’s latest report clarifies in detail what was described in the previous report as “a criminal network of individuals acting in concert to carry out the assassination,” and goes so far as to identify the nationalities of six key figures in the plot, suggesting that indictments will be issued within a matter of days.
Official sources have informed AP that this move was likely in response to widespread criticism among the upper ranks of the Bush adminstration of the initial report’s ambiguity with regard to the anticipated implication of Syria in the murder of the Lebanese politician.
The relevant paragraph in the report states: “Evidence now confirms, on the basis of DNA testing and isotope analysis conducted at the CERN laboratories in Geneva that the perpetrators of the assassination were almost certainly Syrians (although possibly also Lebanese), due to the high concentration of trace quantities of z-7UMuS/BT71Ni, a compound found at unusually high levels within the chemical ’signatures’ of inhabitants of the region.” Scientists confirm that while the substance is also found in Lebanese individuals as well, the specific compound identified in the suspects’ DNA traces conforms more to the Syrian strain.
The news is expected to deal a major blow to Syria’s efforts to emerge from its current isolation.
[read the full report]